How to describe the dining out to one has never been.... Well let's start with my introduction to it, which included a 7 page email from the Commanding Officer's wife regarding the rules and regulations of the Dining out. Civilian attire is black tie (oo, so posh you say). Every officer in the company is to attend, and must obtain permission to not attend. Every officer has a responsibility and a title, and everyone is to be referred to by their title. The CO is the President, the Vice President is NOT the XO, because that would make sense. I think the Vice President - known only as Mr. Vice - is chosen arbitrarily and is in charge of making all the reservations necessary for the Dining Out to occur - hotel reservation, dinner menu, etc... Dave was Connoisseur of Cigars and Tyler was Master of Music.
Here is a taste of some of the rules to be followed:
Rules of the Mess. The following is a listing (although far from complete) of actions that are not permitted:
1. Untimely arrival at proceedings.
2. Leave or return to the table without the President's permission.
3. Reading, writing, or passing notes.
6. Use of foul language or telling "off-color" story
15. Letting the Port decanter tough the table before all have charged their glasses.
18. Singing at the table, or failing to sing when required.
20. Being at a loss for words when called upon to render intelligent speech or timely remarks.
24. Not having a good time.
25. Having too good a time.
34. Wearing a clip-on bow tie at an obvious list.
36. Maintaining too low a profile.
42. Talking with one's hands (unless you are deaf).
48. Butt snorkeling in any form.
51. Gossiping.
52. Using the words "husband" or "wife."
This is not a complete list, but it gives you an idea... Should you ignore any of these rules, you are formally accused by someone in the Mess, with the option of Defense (provided by the XO, or yourself). The President renders a verdict. Mr. Vice distributes punishment. Punishment came in the form humiliation or "the grog." Some humiliating punishments included wearing of ridiculous clothing, wigs, etc, singing a song, or, my favorite, arm wrestling. The grog is a cocktail of sorts, usually not pleasant to the taste but potent with alcohol.
There is a manditory cocktail hour before "The Mess" assembles. This was good for me because I got to meet some of the wives before spending all evening with them. As I mentioned, it is a black tie affair: Dave was in Standard Dress Blues (SDB's) - which are really black - with a bow tie. I wore a navy blue bejeweled cocktail dress with some of Grandma's rhinestones, and beautiful silver shoes. But my favorite of all was the XO's wife, Norito. She is Japanese and wore traditional formalware - a kimono! It was beautiful.
All the wives:
There is brief entertainment provide while desert is served. It was supposed to be a WW2 veteran, but that plan fell through. On Friday, Dave and Tyler were called in to the squadron and told they would be the entertainment via debate. The debate topics would be:
1) Which movie is better, Steel Magnolias or The Beaches?
2) Which is the better sport, Male Diving or Couples Figure Skating?
3) Who is the better George, Boy George or George Michael?
4) Who is your favorite O-4? (pre-scripted by the Junior Officers)
5) Who is the better New Guy?
Dave and Tyler donned ninja bandannas for the debate.
The purpose of the debate was to establish the pecking order. Whoever lost the debate would be #10 and whoever won the debate would be #9 in the squadron pecking order. I'm very pleased to announce that Dave won the debate, winning Steel Magnolias and The Georges round, and clinching it by defending the Chocolate Lions as a reason he's the better New Guy. Also, the Chocolate Lions are now world famous, if by reputation alone.
The Mess:
After the debates, Port was disbursed and toasts followed, including toasts to every fallen comrade from VFA-192 in it's history. The Mess was then dismissed. After a quick costume change, the Golden Dragons took over the Mado Lounge for an all around good time with a view.
