the Weekend

Dave and I had a nice uneventful weekend together. On Friday night, we drove up to Fresno to celebrate the birthday of one of Dave's fellow-JO's (Junior Officer). There were about 10 of us, Laura and I being the token wives. We ate at Ruth Chris' Steak House.... I've not been a fan of red meat or chicken since getting pregnant, so I had the vegetable options, with a crab-cake starter. In case you've never been there or heard of it, this restaurant basically sells only steaks, with seafood options to satisfy the wives, or girlfriends that will inevitably get taken there. It's also very expensive: $10 beers, $18 appetizers, $42 steaks. Ouch. The cheapest thing we ordered was the $9 creme brule. Oh well. We don't spend that much regularly, and it was a special occasion. After dinner we went out to a bar, and were home by 1am.

On Saturday, we hung out. Didn't do much. Slept in, for one. We had dinner at a friend's house; they'd gotten up at 6am to start brisket, and again, not being a fan of meat currently, it was good, Dave really enjoyed it.

Sunday was church, where we (I) had a minor melt down. We spent the afternoon in Fresno, attending Triple-A baseball game of the Grizzlies, the field-team of the San Fran Giants. The Grizzles won 7-6, through some anxious innings.

We got a call on Sunday evening from the genetic counselor from Clinic Horrid. The Amnio results confirm that our baby has Trisomy 18. As odd as it sounds, Dave and I were relieved. We've prepared ourselves for Trisomy18, and if it had been something else, like something hereditary, we would have been broken all over again. No word on the gender yet. I've got a doctor's appointment on Wednesday morning, and hopefully the amnio results will have gotten to her by then so she can tell us more information.

On a happy note, I saw a video of one of my sorority sisters being proposed to. So sweet. Made me cry tears of joy.

Prayer Works

For anyone who is a skeptic, prayers work.

Dave's mom had been in town since Wednesday of last week, and we just dropped her off at the airport. It was a blessing to have her here with us as we've been working through everything. We were relieved as much as she was to realize that we have a support group here larger than we thought. Our church has been so helpful and supportive. Today we were able to meet with a doctor for the first time and have a good discussion and have questions answered. Our doctor gave us a standing invitation to be her walk-in appointment at any time, and even offered to deliver if and when the time comes. She was sympathetic, compassionate, astute, and informative; she was everything we didn't receive when we were told about our baby's condition. She's willing to see me twice a month as I progress to check the baby's heartbeat. And in another answer to prayers, she told us that last week, their office received word of another clinic that can provide the same services, but hopefully with a better bedside manner. She's helping us work out how to file a formal complaint about the doctor we were referred to.

So, to review. Prayers answered this week:
1. Dave and I are still strong and maintaining a positive outlook.
2. We've found we have a stronger support system here than we thought through friends and church.
3. We've found a doctor who is on our side, is willing to work with us and support us and our decision not to terminate our pregnancy.
4. There is another clinic available for Lemoore to refer patients too so hopefully no one else will be treated the same way we were.

Dear friends,

I'm sorry to relay this news to you via email, but it's just too hard for me any other way right now.

About two weeks ago we did a screening test for development abnormalities for our baby. One of the results came back abnormal for the AFP test. With a 25% false-positive rate, and Dave and I being young and healthy, we were pretty sure it was nothing, maybe that the baby was older than the doctors had thought.

On Monday we had an appointment with a Fetal Maternal Medicine Specialist to do an ultrasound and received the worst news any expectant parent can receive: our baby has Trisomy 18. Her brain is filed with water, her heart is enlarged and has several problems, her arm bones are wrong, and her intestines and liver are on the outside. 

Trisomy 18 is a genetic non-hereditary disorder. It happens at conception and is random. Every pregnancy has a .075% chance of having it happen. The 18chromosome didn't split correctly and as a result, our baby has three parts of 18 instead of two. This has caused her to develop abnormally in almost every aspect.

There is an 80-90% chance that she will not make it to her birthday; if she does, there is a 10% chance she would survive; if she does survive, because of the complications she has, almost no chance that we would take her home. 

For us, terminating the pregnancy is not an option. I could carry to full term, or miscarry at any time. 

Dave and I are not ok. We canceled our trip to Germany, Dave's mom is coming today, and we are trying to work through what we need to be doing.  We are meeting with the pastor of our church this week, and planning to meet with a doctor to discuss out ultrasound results and more of what we can expect. 

What we really need right now is love, supportive words, and tons and tons of prayers. The most difficult part of our situation is that the hard part hasn't come yet. Please pray for the strength of our baby, and for strength for Dave and I as we work through this time. 

Love,

Annie&Dave

Prayer Request

Please pray for Dave and I and for our baby.

1st Baby...

I always feel so stupid calling and making appointments. I don't know any of the lingo the doctors want to hear. I was referred out to Fresno's St. Agnes Hospital for our big Ultrasound, and when I called this morning to make an appointment, I felt that now-familiar apologetic conversation coming on: "I'm sorry, this is my first baby, so I don't know what exactly I need to be asking for, but I need [generic description]." Blah. It's not like I don't pay attention when the doctor tells me what I need, it's just that they assume I know exactly what it is, and am familiar with these terms. I'm sure every first time parent has felt this way - it just seems more noticeable when I'm in a new place.

The good news is we have an ultrasound appointment on APril 21 - the day after we get back from Germany! We'll find out the sex, woot!

Introducing Jenarbra!

Yes, it's true! There is a baby en route! Anticipating some of your questions, here are some answers:

1. How far along are you? Today, I am 11 weeks 2 days. I will be 12 weeks on Feb 24. The ultra sound photo is from a few weeks ago when I was 8 weeks 5 days. In the photo, the baby is 2.10cm, although that is now outdated, and the baby's now more the size of a plum or clementine.

2. When is your due date? Our first due date was August 26, but our latest due date is September 08. I think it will be closer to the August date. The first date is determined by the first day of your last cycle, and the second date was determined by the length of the baby taken during the ultra sound.

3. When did you find out? We found out pretty early. Very early actually. As you may know, I arrived from Japan on December 11, 2009. A few days after that, I started getting suspicious. We took one pregnancy test that came back negative. Dave was convinced that was the end of it, but I knew better. We waited 5 days and took another one on December 24, when I was about 3 weeks along. So, that's pretty early!

4. Who was the first person you told? The first person I told was my sister, Mary. I woke her up waving a positive pregnancy test in her face, haha. If you know the Walthall Family at all, you know we drink at any family gathering, Christmas Eve being no exception. Mary was my bartender and made me virgin Pomegranate Martinis. Then, I had a get-together in Arlington on the 26th, and Mary again was my bartender and ordered me virgin drinks discretely.

5. I TOLD YOU SO! Yes, Annie Czapp, you were right. When we got together the efirst night I was in town, we'd had a negative preggo test, but I wasn't convinced. It wasn't until the next morning that we found out for sure.

6. So, are you excited?! What kind of future parent would I be if I wasn't excited?? Duh, we're excited.

7. So, was this planned? Yes and no. Coordinating the move from Japan to Cali was super stressful. A certain unnamed older sister told me that stress was a big contributing factor to conception. So me being totally stressed out of my mind, I didn't think we'd be conceiving. Wrong. But Dave and I were completely open to having kids. The Highlander was purchased as a future-baby-mobile. So there you have it.

8. Are you going to find out if it's a boy or girl? Yep. But that won't be for another two months I think.

9. Are you already thinking of names? Yep, but we're not sharing.

10. What's with calling it Jenarbra? Well, if you've read Twilight..... It's a combination of our moms' names. Jennifer and Barbara. I think it's pretty gender neutral. We also came up with Mavder - a combination of Slider and Mav, haha.

11. How have you been feeling? I've been feeling pretty good. The first six weeks I felt a little blah, but I've never thrown up. Now that I'm prenatal vitamins.... blah. The amount of iron in them tears up my stomach, so I have to plan when I take it.

12. How did your parents react? We told both of our families when we saw them over the holidays. Mary was the first person we told, followed by my parents on Christmas morning, and then my older sister via skype. When we drove to Mississippi, we told Sarah, and then the rest of the Wrigleys. My mom cried, and Emily didn't. :) Everyone is very excited for us.

Here's the ultrasound video.

You can hear the heart beat! It gets louder and softer as the OB moves the magic wand.... We currently believe there is only one baby, and so far everything looks good.