A book NOT recommended

As probably everyone here knows, I am a literature nerd at heart and by trade with BA in English Literature. So I was naturally intrigued with Seth Grahame-Smith came out with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in 2009. There was a lot of hype about it. He's taken Jane Austen's original work, spliced some out, added some of his own, maintained the original plot, but added zombies.

 Grahame-Smith includes himself as co-author to Austen; I very much wished he'd left Austen out of it. The book is pure sacrilege to any Austen fan, much less one who has enjoyed Pride and Prejudice especially. To say that Austen would have condoned this "work" would be savage.  Grahame-Smith goes so far as to add Study Guide or Class Discussion questions to the end of the book, including: "There is some speculation as to whether or not Austen's original publication included zombies. How do zombies affect the work as a whole?" You have to be kidding me. I will tell you how they affect the work - the degrade it! Not only has he re-created all the characters to fit into a world plagued by zombies - all the Bennet sisters where trained in the "deadly arts" and shortly into the story form the "Pentagram of Death" (get it, because there are five of them?) - but he goes so far as to turn a character completely in to a zombie. (I'll tell you which character it is because I don't want you reading it for yourself: Charlotte Lucas.)

Moreover, Grahame-Smith, in an effort to modernize the story slightly, adds some foul word-play between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. This is not okay. Let me clarify that this word-play is at a 9th grade level; used throughout the book is a double-entendre for "balls" and if you can't figure out where this is going, good for you, because it heartily upsets the reader to have Mr. Darcy making comments about balls which cause Elizabeth to blush. Not to mention it's totally out of character.

And my final issue with this book is that it is not executed. I see where Grahame-Smith was going with it and what he tried to do. However, his attempt to change the characters to fit into this zombie filled world cannot be carried throughout the work. Elizabeth Bennet cannot be portrayed as a slaughterer of zombies, a Chinese instructed warrior, and protector of Hertfordshire, (who also wants to slit Darcy's throat 3 pages after meeting him) and then transform in to a distressed love-stricken girl at the end of the book. The two realms do not meld just as Pride and Prejudice does not meld with zombies.

Needless to say, I will not be reading Sense and Sensibility and Sea-Monsters or Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Slayer.