Dave and Annie's Ultimate Heist

The background. In case anyone missed it, Dave's car and I, much like Mav and I, have a love-hate relationship. There have been many times where I had to drive it for a couple of weeks, and ended up really liking it. But then, something breaks, and I'm mad at it. So I'm not too upset that we have to sell his car before we move to Japan. On Sunday, we decided to take the car to CarMax to get it appraised in the hopes of unloading our problem-car on them. Seen here in it's action-shot, Dave's 2000 Ford Explorer Sport


The List. The following is a list of all the things wrong with the car.
1. Rearwindow washer sprays inside the car.
2. Center console detached and is currently in the backseat.
3. Plastic lining around driver-side car door is no longer attached, exposing sharp metal corners.
4. Sealant on driver-side car door is falling off, making for a louder-than-normal ride.
5. Check Engine light on (Yellow).
6. Air Bag light on (Red).
7. Over-Drive light comes on after driving for 2 minutes (Yellow).
8. Something-technical-about-air-intake broken in engine.
9. Radiator not fully functional.
10. Needs new windsheild wipers.
11. Needs four new tires (even though we replaced all 4 in August 2006).
12. The driver-side is stuck shut, therefore one must enter through the passenger-side door. (Side note- Dave's key won't work on the passenger-side door, so he must open the trunk and unlock the doors from the button in the back...)


Please take a moment and consider how much this car should be worth.

Dave and I entered Carmax piling out of the passenger door, believing we would be laughed off the lot, but hoping they could point us in the right direction for how to sell it for parts. Our other back-up plan was to put it on Craig's List for $500 or best offer.... We were lectured about how CarMax has a very comprehensive checklist for cars they will buy. We spent 20 minutes walking around their lot, me- gushing over the Volvo V70, and Dave- joking that we should buy a flatbed truck or the lone Porsche.

Dave and I believe that a blind, severely mentally handicapped person inspected our car. After all, to inspect the car, one must enter through the passenger door; once the car is on, there are at least 2 serious lights on; *if* one were to run a diagnostic, several serious components should come up.

So again, I ask you to reflect on what thei car should be worth. The Kelly Blue Book value of a 2000 Ford Explorer Sport in *good* condition is listed at $1300; in fair condition $925. Dave and I were expecting nothing, anything ! just get it away from me!

They offered us $1250. We said yes, and sold the car 40 minutes later.

The Epilogue. On the drive back to CarMax, Dave said the temperature gauge was all the way up. Ohwell, their problem now!