Borrowed - aka stolen - from my friend Amy's blog. As Amy said, "If only this were published in
GQ!"
15 Ways to Charm HerWant to impress a Southern girl? Just think "What would my grandfather have done?"
by Amy Bickers,
Southern Living Magazine, July 2009Number one: we still expect you to give up your seat for a lady. On a bus, at a bar, on a train... we don't care where you are. Unless you are at a restaurant and the only lady in sight is the one taking your order, stand up. Now.
On a recent Friday night at a bustling restaurant bar, two friends and I waiting for out table to be called. The bar stools were occupied so we stood patiently, sipping wine and chatting about the workweek. When a couple nearby stood up, another woman- who had been there less time than we had- swooped in, reaching across us to put her perch on the stool. This isn't the worst part. It's what happened next: Her male companion then slid onto the other bar stool
Hand on while I do a geography check. Are we not in the South? If ladies are waiting for a seat and you have a Y chromosome, do you sit down? No, sire. No, you do not.
We know modern life is confusing. The roles of men and women have evolved over the years. As Pink once sand "Shorty got a job, Shorty got a car, Shorty can pay her own rent."
But come on, let's keep some things old-school. My late grandfather- the of the East Texas upbringing, U.S. Navy captain status, and Cary Grant good looks- would never have allowed a woman to stand while he sat. And if you want a Southern woman to love you, neither will you. So, men, here's a short life of things Southern girls still expect fro you.
We still expect you to...- Stand up for a lady- Actually this doesn't just involve chairs!
- Know that the SEC has the best football teams in the nation- Big 12 fan? Hmm, perhaps you should keep walking.
- Kill Bugs: Delta Burke as Southern belle Suzanne Sugarbaker on Designing Women said, "...Ya know,...when men use Women's Liberation as an excuse to not kill bugs for you. Oh, I just hate that! I don't care what anybody says, I think the man should have to kill the bug!"
-Hold doors open- Fix things or Build Stuff: I once watched in awe as my stepfather built a front porch on the house he shares with my mother. He knew just what to do, cutting every notch, hammering every nail. The project was complete by sunset.
-Wear Boots Occasionally: Not the fancy ones I-paid-$1,000-for-these-kind. We're talking about mud-crusted, I could- have- just -come- in- from -the- field boots.
-Take Off Your Hat Inside
-Grill Stuff- Call us: If you want to ask us out, don't text and don't email, pick up the phone and use your voice.
-Stand when we come back to the table: "Just a little half stand is enough to make a girl melt." my friend Stephanie says.
-Pull out our chairs: Wait, that's not all, scoot them back in before we hit the floor.
-Pay the tab on the first few dates: "If you ask me out, you pay, if I ask you out, you pay." Stephanie says. "If I ask you out, you should still pay." Listen guys, its just simpler this way.
-Don't show up in a wrinkled, untucked shirt: Care about your appearance, but not too much. Don't smell better than we do. Don't use mousse or gel. You shuoldn't look like you spend more time in front of the mirror than we do.
-Never get in bar fights: Patrick Swayze might look cool in Road House, but in reality, bar fights are stupid and embarrassing. You don't look tough. You look like an idiot.
- Know how to mix our favorite cocktail, just the way we like it: Fix your favorite too. Sit down on the porch (it's okay if you didn't build it), tell us how your day went, and we'll tell you about ours.
Please refer to the plot of the movie to place what we're creating.
It wouldn't be as fun if our husband's weren't with us somehow!
So attractive.
In our celebratory T-Shirts.
Today we went to Tokyo Disney!
Cinderella and Prince Charming - not asian.
Beauty and the Beast - also not asian.
